Choice

One Monday morning a businessman showed up to the airport. This particular businessman was no stranger to the airport since he has flown almost every Monday for his employment. Like every other experience, he checked in his bags, made it through security and was approaching his gate. He always grabbed a newspaper to check on the latest rhetoric that was being put out but what he was truly interested in was the take on the previous day sports. As he was picking up his paper he noticed a small box of donuts that was being sold. Now this businessman had been working hard at keeping fit and was having success but he felt a little box of donuts wouldn't hurt so he purchased those as well. Sitting at a table he placed down his donuts and paper and was shaken by one of the loudest sneezes he had ever heard. Immediately turning toward the noise he saw a petite older lady with a hanky looking a bit embarrassed. The businessman turned back around and was a little shaken again by a man that had joined him sitting at his table. The man didn't say anything but gently nodded his head acknowledging the businessman. To the businessman's surprise, the other man reached down and opened the box of donuts, grabbing one and began eating it. The businessman was perplexed. He had never seen such a blatant act before but chose to hold his temper thinking perhaps the man was hungry and just wanted a donut. After the man had finished his third donut leaving only two left, the businessman began to feel his blood boil. At least the man could have politely asked or said thank you yet all he would do was smile back at the businessman as he looked on. The businessman couldn't take it anymore and reached down and grabbed a donut and took a big bite looking at the other man with a "how do you like that" look. The man smiled back, looked at his watch and left leaving the last donut. The businessman was still upset that the man had been so rude and unbelievably thoughtless. Taking a deep breath the businessman looked at his watch and realized he should start making his way to the gate. He wiped his mouth with a napkin and picked up his newspaper. To his surprise his unopened box of donuts had been under his paper the entire time.

I hold the belief that we all have the freedom to choose in this life. Some choices bring good things while some choices bring consequences that aren't too enjoyable. I have heard some say that if people aren't happy it is there own fault ... because if they wanted to be happy they need to simply be happy. Just like flipping a switch or something. I thought similar along those lines until depression pulled the rug out from under my feet. I even have to sadly admit that I would look at "sad" people and think why don't they just choose to be happy. It is ever so clear to me that no matter how close we may think we are to someone or how well we may think we know them we simply have no idea about everything in their lives. We may guess or we may even judge but caution has to come into play. As I have fought with the demons of depression I have heard the same statement, "it's ultimately up to the person that is sad to choose be happy. It's their fault they are sad." I hold no malice to that person but how incredibly off base they are. Such general statements can hurt the vulnerable folks that are fighting depression. I will even grant them a little leeway here and say, yes it is up to me to choose to seek professional help but there is no light switch to turn on immediate happiness. I have looked and looked and looked but it is not there. I wish it was that easy. Now I don't think the folks that speak of choosing to be happy are intentionally hurting people fighting depression. It just clearly shows how unknown and how misunderstood depression is. Yep, going with the broken bone analogy here again. I have had a broken bone before and no matter how hard I tried I simply couldn't choose for it to be fixed immediately. Here is what I do choose. Every night when I put my head on my pillow I pray that the next day will be a happy one. I pray for the strength to conquer the battles of depression that I can learn to handle it better and better. I pray for more glimpses of hope and joy and pray that I get to experience them more and more with each passing day. I pray that someday I will have the choice to simply be happy.